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Friday, February 15, 2013

Don't rescue, help!

Lately, in multiple settings, we have experienced people doing good things but for the wrong reason. We heard Tara experience this again this week and we realized we need to talk about it.

Doing a good deed should not be for recognition. It should be to help someone that needs it. If you do something nice or helpful to a living being for your own benefit then don't do it. Yes we are saying don't do a good deed. It's not a good deed if it is about you.

People don't "rescue" other people in fostering and adopting. There are reasons that humans don't go to shelters or rescues to find their forever families. To often it is assumed the children need to be rescued, but in reality the kids don't know that and the mentality of rescuing diminishes the true value of an adoption.

Volunteering to help in areas of need such as tutoring, mentoring, serving on a board of directors, or any other position to help people in need should be to help those people with needs they have. Quite simply it could be math homework, finding resources, food for their children, or a car ride to an appointment. If you then turn to others and make statements about how you are so great and gave so much of yourself for them, then it is only about you.

While volunteers and giving are always needed, it should not be the quantity of your giving, rather the quality. If a non-profit is asking for donations and you give them a vehicle (just an example) and they don't have the ability to use that vehicle for work, but could sell it for money to make the needs of the agency, yet you are disgusted at the idea of them selling it for what they really need (money), then you did not help them! It would be like giving our foster siblings a diamond necklace. Thanks, but what do they do with it?

When we hear people say "I am just a transporter" or "I was asked just to file papers". That may seem menial to you, but to that non-profit, it is HUGE. Asking the non-profit to provide you with resources to accomplish something is even more disturbing. One example we heard was a group of people who wanted to get together to help a particular non-profit, yet they considered the drive too long so they asked the charity to consider the importance of their "influence" and begged for a bus to be scheduled to take them to the location to help. This put a lot of extra work on the non-profit and really, those volunteers are not in it for the right reason. They need to find their own way to help in areas the non-profit needs, not something they feel they need to do.

Please do the right thing and get out of the mentality of your need to "rescue" others for praise. We could go on and on, or as Tara says "get on a soap box" but we won't. Let's put quality in and go back to the true meaning of volunteerism.

 Off to get another round of playtime in before bed!

Bode and Abbey

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