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Monday, January 10, 2011

It's not about your rights....

It's been on my mind for awhile and I haven't had time to sit down and write about it, but here it goes....

Bode and I hear a lot of the phone calls and parent meetings Tara has and there is often a theme that bothers us. Parent's often think it is their right in a custody situation to see their child, but the truth is that is has nothing to do with them. Do they not realize that it is the children who are hurting and the children who have a right to see both parents?

Let me explain with an example. A parent vents to Tara that they don't like the new love interest of the other parent, therefore they are restricting visitation time with the children as a punishment to the other parent. The children are the ones being punished, not the adults. The adult who isn't seeing the child(ren) may feel punished, but ultimately it is the children who are losing out on valuable time with both parents.

In the eyes of the court (based on trainings Tara has attended), the children have rights to see both parents unless there is risk or evidence of abuse (emotional, physical, or sexual) or neglect. Parents need to put aside their lack of ability to have a relationship with one another and focus on the fact that no matter what, they have a child(ren) together.

Here are some rights Bode and I came up with (at least through our eyes). We know there is more, but these stand out to us:

*Children have the right to see both parents without being subjected to arguing.
*Children have a right to know and have a relationship with both of their parents.
*Children have a right to be a kid and not know all the adult information (this includes court information)
*Children have a right to be free from hearing others talk badly about either parent.
*Children have a right to have their parents attend school or extra curricular events without causing a scene or putting the child in a position to chose one side or the other.

Can you think of other rights children have?

I can think of many, but for now I will call it a night!

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